Musings of a Mom

Jack came home from school in a foul mood. He was upset because his friends wouldn’t stop playing tag long enough to listen to what Jack wanted to tell them. He pouted telling me that his best friend was the worst of the group.Since the life span of drama in a six-year-old boy’s school life is about two minutes (unlike for girls) I decided to smooth over the situation (especially since he and his best friend were scheduled to have a play date the next day) but our conversation moved in a direction I hadn’t seen coming.

            Me:  You’re still friends, right?

            Jack:  Yeah.

            M: Because you can be mad at someone and still be friends.

            J:  I know.

            M:  Just like when you get mad at Jill but she’s still your sister.

            J:  Yeah, but I want to sell her.

            M:  You want to sell Jill?

            J:  Yeah, for $100.

            M:  Oh, you could get much more than that for her.

            J:  Like $10,800?

           M:  Maybe, but you’d have to really make her sound good to get someone to pay    that much and I’m not sure if you can do that.

            J:  I can try!

Luckily, Jack doesn’t know how to use eBay or craigslist because if he did, he might actually try to list his sister for sale. In the meantime, I keep picturing him in the front yard with a lemonade stand that says, “Sister for Sale, $10,800. Inquire within.” Good thing for Jill that her brother doesn’t have the final say in the matter.

Hubby has always given me great gifts.  I’m not bragging, just giving him credit for a job well done.  I also don’t mean that they are necessarily expensive, just incredibly thoughtful.  He’s good at paying attention when I say, “I want to…” and he keeps a mental list of the things I like.  It’s not difficult to do because I have a habit of saying, “Ooh, I’d love to…” or “Oh, my gosh! I wish…”  Over the years Hubby has taken me to see Baryshnikov dance (long after I thought he’d hung up his dancing shoes), rented suped up muscle cars for his motor head wife (yep, that’s me), and scored tickets to a Sharks (hockey) playoff game even though he wasn’t yet a fan (he was converted after that game).

Hubby is the artistic person in the family so Halloween costumes fall to him to create.  If the task were left to me the kids would have store-bought costumes, which means they wouldn’t be EXACTLY what they want, or they would be amoebas.  I don’t think my kids would actually choose to be an amoeba (or maybe they would) it’s just that something wrong happens when I try to create something with my hands.  I guess my hands and my brain don’t communicate well because no matter what image I have in my mind, my creation always ends up looking like a blob.  Needless to say, the kids have figured out that their dad is the person to consult.

October is also the beginning of hockey season, so while Hubby has been making costumes, the kids and I have been watching the games on TV. So one night I got up to take care of a few things while commercials were on and Jack came running in yelling that if I went online to a local hockey store’s website I could get everything I needed to look like a hockey player for Halloween. I thought he was buying into a commercial, but I later found out it was all Jack’s idea. He was so insistent that I check out the site immediately that I decided to entertain his idea. Now, let me be clear here, I had no intention of dressing up for Halloween or of buying anything.  However, the jersey I had been eyeing happened to be on sale. It also happens that the next night we were going to be in the area of the store anyway so I thought maybe I would go to find out what size jersey I wanted just in case I decided to buy one sometime.

Throughout that night and the next day Jack worked on me to dress up for Halloween.  “But, Mom, it would be AWESOME if you dressed up for Halloween!” He was so excited by the idea, how cold I disappoint him? So we went to the store, I tried on jerseys and then agonized over whether or not to spend the money. Those jerseys are not cheap. Hubby put in his two cents saying, “Well, which will enrich your life more, the jersey or the money?” I finally gave in to Jacks wishes and my desire to show my team loyalty. I was handing the clerk my money when Hubby stepped in, handed over his credit card and said, “The kids and I were going to get this for you for Christmas so I guess I’ll pay for it now.” Oh, how bad I felt. I hadn’t thought about Christmas. Hubby just laughed and said, “Don’t worry. I’ll be taking it from you on Christmas Eve to wrap. Remember to act surprised.”

I have to admit that I didn’t feel bad for long about ruining their surprise. After all, Hubby knew Jack had been working me to dress up for Halloween. Hubby’s a smart guy; he should have manipulated the situation by making other costume suggestions. Isn’t manipulating your children a natural part of parenting? I think Hubby secretly wanted to make a mock hockey stick and add more to his already full costume agenda. In the meantime, Happy Halloween and Merry Christmas to me!

Kids love chalk, but eventually even chalk can lead to trouble. When my kids were little I would give them chalk and they would fill our driveway with flowers or bugs or even just scribbles, but my kids are getting older and their artwork is maturing.

Recently I gave the kids chalk and let them loose on the driveway and they started drawing yin and yang symbols and scribbles and quickly progressed to drawing people.  This may sound innocent enough, but remember, we’re talking about my kids.

Jack and Jill have a warped sense of humor and sarcasm is our family trait (if you can’t tell already) so they thought it would be fun to draw a person with a broken arm and leg.  After the broken person, the kids moved on to drawing a person in front of my van so that I would have to drive over it. The chalk person in front of the van came complete with the eyes X-ed out to indicate the person had already died.  The kids finished the scene with a half of a person drawn next to my tire giving the appearance that the rest of the body was actually under the tire.

I made the comment that the police would be coming soon to investigate and that I didn’t think I was that bad of a driver.  Jack said, “Don’t worry, Mom, I’ve got you covered.  They’re only chalk people.”  I’m not sure whether to worry about him “covering” me or about the potential of chalk police showing up.  You just never know at our house.

Little kids like to be a part of things. If you tell a joke to a child, they’ll try to join the fun by making up their own jokes. If an older sibling is playing a game, the younger child will want to join in too. If you’re cleaning the house, your child will want to help. (Enjoy this phase as it doesn’t last long enough.)Last week our family was enjoying some of our Easter rituals. At one point the kids were “practicing” hunting for eggs when Jack asked when Easter would be. I explained how many days away it was but Jack still has trouble with the concept of time, so I eventually said, “It’s this week.”

A few minutes after I answered Jack, he said, “Mom, this week is Easter Week, then it’ll be Star Wars week, then Make-a-Cozy-place-in-your-bed week, then Workout week and that lasts ten weeks, then it’ll be playing week and after that I don’t know what week it is.

I didn’t realize I’d created a week but Jack certainly had a plan for us moving forward.  Luckily, kids also have a short attention span so he hasn’t held me to this schedule.  However, knowing Jack, he’s likely to remember right around Workout week and I’m not sure I’m ready for that.

While Jack was playing soccer the other day, I was busy talking with one of the other moms. Yes, I have a tendency to chat while I’m watching my kids, don’t you?

So while the mom and I were talking, her 2 ½ year-old son was eating raisins. Every so often he would hand her the box so she could tear a bit off. She would then hand it back to him and he would resume eating. This pattern was repeated several times until suddenly he looked at the box she’d given him and said, “No!  Fix, please!” She told him she couldn’t and he then asked for scissors. I obviously looked puzzled because she explained that he likes to have the box torn as he eats so that he can better reach the raisins.  Unfortunately, she didn’t tear the box evenly so he was asking if she had scissors to correct her mistake. At this point, the boy looked at me and asked, “Have scissors?”  I told him I didn’t. As moms, she and I obviously should have been equipped to handle a situation like this and he was disappointed that we weren’t.

My hubby likes symmetry too so I relayed the story to him saying, “I met you at 2 ½ years old today.” He agreed with the boy wholeheartedly but said he doesn’t think he was into symmetry at 2 ½. Right, like hubby would remember.

As the little boy grows his need for symmetry will probably drive his parents crazy. Once he’s an adult though, that attention to detail will serve him well.

My kids are driving me bonkers!  It’s the halfway point of summer and they are bouncing off the walls.  This has been a busy summer with lots of activity and still they act like they have been caged up for months.

One thing I don’t have a problem with is my kids saying “I’m bored.”  My kids have always been pretty good about entertaining themselves and I find it interesting to hear my friends complain about their children claiming to be bored.  Last summer Jill overheard one of my friends talking about the issue and Jill decided to try the phrase out and see what happened.  She found out quickly that it was not a good idea.  Our conversation went something like this:

            Jill:  Mom, I’m bored.

            Me:  Really?  You can’t think of ANYTHING to do?

            Jill:  No.

            Me:  Do you want me to think of something for you?

            Jill:  Yes.

            Me:  Are you sure about that?

            Jill:  (Thinks for a moment first.) Yes.

            Me:  Well, you can dust, sweep, fold some clothes, clean the toilets –

            Jill:  Never mind.  I’ll think of something myself.

            Me:  I thought so.

This summer they haven’t said “I’m bored,” and they don’t seem to be other than they seem to be tired of each other.  It’s the typical sibling rivalry really.  They start out playing and get louder and something comes up and suddenly they are arguing.  The funny thing is everyone I’ve talked to this week has said the same thing: “My kids are driving me nuts!  I can’t wait for school to start!”

To everyone out there experiencing the same, may we all survive the rest of summer.

When Jack and Jill were toddlers they loved to play with remote controls. Jill started playing with the TV remote one day and changed the settings. Hubby and I played around with the thing to try to reset it and we even resorted to reading the manual but we never could figure out how to change the settings back. Instead, we did the next logical thing - we adjusted ourselves to the new settings. We also got some non-functioning remotes and let her play with them.

At one point Jill showed interest in the computer keyboard and my mother-in-law supplied Jill with a cordless keyboard that she could play with. You may be thinking, why not steer her in another direction? We have learned two things about kids: 1) they are curious and if you take something away it becomes more fascinating (or sometimes they actually forget about it) and 2) if it won’t hurt them, find a way to let them have it so that they can explore and learn. Jill knew her alphabet by sight at age 2 ½ and she knew the placement on the keyboard by age 3.

So now they are older and still fascinated with gadgets. They also like to emulate the people around them and I was recently given a better understanding of what I do with my time.  I obviously spend more time on the phone than I thought. In my defense though, I work from home and my work sometimes requires me to be on the phone and then of course, there are the calls from my mom, my sister and friends. Well, yes, I use the phone but back to the kids…

My kids recently won a couple of calculators as prizes. Instead of using the calculators to add or subtract Jack and Jill opted to pretend they were cell phones. The kids would wander through the house talking to imaginary friends or to each other. They took their “phones” in the car and my husband and I would hear two separate conversations being conducted behind us. The kids even took their phones to swim lessons. The swim teacher asked if we had bought the kids I Phones! Once Jill noticed that her father was listening to her conversation she said, “Excuse me but there’s a little thing called privacy.”

Now I know I don’t say things like that and neither does my husband but it’s scary to see the glimpses of teen attitude quickly approaching. All I can say is that we’ll do our best to enjoy the kids’ childhood while bracing ourselves for the future and we’ll continue to watch what we say when we’re on the phone. It’s pretty sobering to hear your child say, “Oh, hold on while I get rid of this other call” and then pretend to use call-waiting.

When my sister and I were kids we fought like cats and dogs.  Our mom would say, “You should be nice to each other. One of these days you’ll be best friends.” And we would answer back that there was NO way we would ever be friends. Now we’re adults and if you’ve been reading my blog then you know that Mom was right. 

Jack and Jill are still young enough to enjoy playing together. Don’t get me wrong, they fight with each other too. But they’re still at an age where there’s more time spent playing than fighting. Plus it helps that Jack thinks Jill walks on water.

Since Jack was just a little guy (because he’s such a big guy now) he’s loved to copy whatever Jill does. He has his own interests but he also likes to do the things she loves. He’s played her games, tried the same sports and watches the same movies. 

Jill is used to having a following though. When she was still in daycare she was the only girl among a group of younger boys. These boys too thought she was someone to idolize. I still hear stories from the other parents of how their boys wanted to be princesses because Jill thought she was a princess. She did tell them that they had to be princes, but that was just not enough. They wanted to be just like her.

One day Jack had a growth spurt and his shoes suddenly didn’t fit. Out of desperation, we pulled out a pair of Jill’s old tennis shoes for him to wear to daycare. He told the boys who the shoes’ previous owner was and the boys spent the day telling Jack how lucky he was. From what I hear, they also spent a lot of time that day staring at Jack’s feet.

Now Jack is a bit older but he still admires his big sister. So this weekend I took him to get a new pair of swim goggles and instead of choosing a pair in his favorite color, he opted for a pair just like Jill’s. He was so happy and when he showed her the goggles he proudly said, “Now we can be goggle twins!” Jill, however, was a bit miffed. She is now at an age where she wants her own identity and is struggling to see that imitation is the sincerest form of flattery. I must say though, she’s not completely put off when he copies her. She chalks it up to his being little and figures he’ll grow out of it, which, of course, he will. That is the point when the fighting will occur on a more regular basis and I will start telling them that they should be nice to each other because hopefully when they grow up they’ll be best friends too.

When I was a kid my family used to go camping a lot. Many times they were spur-of-the-moment trips with things left behind (like the tent pole, some of the sleeping bags and various other items.) As time went by sleeping in tents evolved into sleeping in a trailer and now my parents opt to rough it by renting cabins.

Early on in our relationship my husband informed me that when he is on vacation he does not want to work, therefore we would stay in hotels versus camping because camping is work. I was quick to jump on board with that way of thinking. Ironically, many a vacation has been spent working on our house.

Last week my parents informed us that they were going camping and were taking Jill with them (they take her every year) and asked if Jack and Hubby and I would like to join them for the weekend. Hubby and I decided we would do this for the kids and so we packed up the van and off we went.

The campsite is a three-hour drive from our home and so every few minutes Jack asked, “Are we there yet?” or “When will we be there?” Jack still doesn’t have a good understanding of time so we had to explain in terms he could grasp, “We’ll be there in 12 Sponge Bobs.” “Six more Sponge Bobs to go!” We had plenty of things available to entertain him but he was anxious to get there. He was excited about fishing with grandpa for the first time.

As we approached the campgrounds, Jack started yelling, “Look at the nature! It’s nature!  Look!” On one side of the road was a lake and on the other side was a water treatment plant. Of course, while Jack was yelling about nature, he was looking at the trees surrounding the water treatment plant. When we explained that we were in the forest, he just said, “Really?” 

Jack was so excited about being in nature that the first thing he wanted to do was go swim in the pool. Yes, this campground has a pool so that you don’t swim in the lake, at least that’s my theory. He did eventually go in a row boat on the lake and then came back and threw up. He never did go fishing. He did, however, spend some time collecting rocks in the “hall” behind our cabin. 

The kids had a great time and want to go back. If Jack was that excited over this version of camping imagine what he’d be like sleeping in a tent in the middle of nowhere!

My son has a very rich fantasy life. We often have to spend a little time trying to figure out who or what he is and how to address him. He might be a dinosaur one day and a Bionicle spider the next. (For those of you who don’t know what Bionicles are, they are a series of creatures made by LEGO and are for kids age 8 and older, but when you have an older cousin you get introduced to these things at a much younger age.)

Buddy has a new interest in all things Star Wars. He has this interest because his cousin likes Star Wars and Buddy thinks the world of his cousin. So Saturday Buddy puts on his dark blue robe which is much too long for him and gives him the appearance of being Darth Vader-like. He takes his toy light saber and goes to visit his cousin. As he’s getting ready he asks, “Mom, do I look like Darth Vader?” I thought he said “Dark Vader” so I said, “Sure, you look like a dark Vader.” He corrected me but apparently liked the name because from then on, when he’s wearing his robe, we are expected to address him as Dark Vader.

In informing my father that my son must be called Dark Vader, my dad looked at him and asked, “Who are you? The Aggravator?” I like that one personally, but lord Darkness did not.

Later I made a remark to my nephew that Dark Vader did not approve of so he pointed his light saber at me and said, “Don’t say that again or I will have to DISTRACT you!” I understood that he meant destroy, but go ahead distract away.

I love to watch him when he’s lost in a fantasy. I love to see how he stays in character when the “outside world” interrupts his play. I like how he modifies names and such to fit into his fantasy and make it his own. What a wonderful thing imagination is.