Musings of a Mom

 Kids are smart. As a parent I have to try to stay one step ahead of my kids which is not easy even when they’re young.

I remember as a kid trying to talk my parents into things but I don’t remember using their words against them or purposely trying to manipulate them. Now if you ask them they probably have a different view but this is my blog and I think I was pretty angelic. My parents can start their own blog if they so choose, But I’m getting sidetracked here, so I’ll get back to the point.

My children are manipulative! They think they are smart but I’ve caught them. I’ve heard them manipulating their grandparents by saying things like “But I’m your favorite granddaughter.”  (Jill’s their only granddaughter.)  But manipulating their parents? That’s awful!

We were taking Jill out for a special evening because she had passed a big test. Yes, this is summer.  No, it didn’t have anything to do with school, but it is something she had been working on for more than a year and so we were celebrating. We let her pick her favorite restaurant (and let me tell you Jill has expensive taste.) and we got dressed up to go. Jill has grown over the summer so it was difficult to figure out what to wear as she’s outgrown her shoes. The outfit she chose was black and the dress shoes that fit were either brown or white. She wanted to wear the brown and I told her to wear the white (trust me on this - if you really need to know why leave a comment and I’ll reply). In our arguing, I said that the brown didn’t make sense with the black, A few minutes later she came out of her room with the white shoes on and said “Mom, the white shoes just don’t make sense with the black outfit.” Then she looked at what I was wearing and said, “Is that top purple? I just don’t think it makes sense with black pants.”

Today it was Jack’s turn. He knew he was in trouble for having toys spread throughout the house but still he came trying to get me to buy more. He approached me in such an innocent way. “Mom,” he said, ”what’s the store with the name of a day in it?” I told him the name and then he said asked “Did you say you wanted to take me there?” Um, that would be a big N-O right now.

These kids may know how to work their grandparents but they’re going to have to work harder on dear old Mom and Dad. I have to admit though that there is a part of me that thinks, “Hey, that was pretty smart” when they do try. So please wish me luck in not falling for their traps, I think I’m going to need all the help I can get.

 Young children are constantly learning. They learn through play, through observation and through listening. I love catching those little moments when a child discovers something new and tries it for himself. I especially love when kids hear new words and then try to use the word in conversation. Sometimes the attempts are successful and sometimes they are not but at least the child is trying.

Last night Hubby took Jack to swim lessons and when they got back I asked how the lesson went. Jack said, “It was horrible! I accidentally swallowed some water and it went down into my ecosystem!”

Jack’s comment reminded me of a time when Jill was little and we were celebrating Easter with her grandparents. Jack and Jill both said “Happy Easter” and Jill proudly added “and Happy Pass Away!”

Hey, she was trying.

When my sister and I were kids we fought like cats and dogs.  Our mom would say, “You should be nice to each other. One of these days you’ll be best friends.” And we would answer back that there was NO way we would ever be friends. Now we’re adults and if you’ve been reading my blog then you know that Mom was right. 

Jack and Jill are still young enough to enjoy playing together. Don’t get me wrong, they fight with each other too. But they’re still at an age where there’s more time spent playing than fighting. Plus it helps that Jack thinks Jill walks on water.

Since Jack was just a little guy (because he’s such a big guy now) he’s loved to copy whatever Jill does. He has his own interests but he also likes to do the things she loves. He’s played her games, tried the same sports and watches the same movies. 

Jill is used to having a following though. When she was still in daycare she was the only girl among a group of younger boys. These boys too thought she was someone to idolize. I still hear stories from the other parents of how their boys wanted to be princesses because Jill thought she was a princess. She did tell them that they had to be princes, but that was just not enough. They wanted to be just like her.

One day Jack had a growth spurt and his shoes suddenly didn’t fit. Out of desperation, we pulled out a pair of Jill’s old tennis shoes for him to wear to daycare. He told the boys who the shoes’ previous owner was and the boys spent the day telling Jack how lucky he was. From what I hear, they also spent a lot of time that day staring at Jack’s feet.

Now Jack is a bit older but he still admires his big sister. So this weekend I took him to get a new pair of swim goggles and instead of choosing a pair in his favorite color, he opted for a pair just like Jill’s. He was so happy and when he showed her the goggles he proudly said, “Now we can be goggle twins!” Jill, however, was a bit miffed. She is now at an age where she wants her own identity and is struggling to see that imitation is the sincerest form of flattery. I must say though, she’s not completely put off when he copies her. She chalks it up to his being little and figures he’ll grow out of it, which, of course, he will. That is the point when the fighting will occur on a more regular basis and I will start telling them that they should be nice to each other because hopefully when they grow up they’ll be best friends too.

 I’ve decided to call the kids Jack and Jill. There’s no big reason other than those are the names that suit my kids for purposes of this blog.

Jill wants an Ipod. She’s been trying to talk me into getting a new one for myself and giving her my current one so that she can have my music loaded already but she hasn’t yet convinced me. 

She approached me the other night with an idea. “Can we sell Jack for medical experiments and use the money to buy an Ipod?” Now, if you haven’t guessed already, our family’s sense of humor is a bit flippant, so I replied, “Well, he would be worth more than you.” To which she said, “Yeah, he’s so small and cute!” Now that’s a loving sister for you.

 Kids get excited about Mother’s Day, at least they do when they’re young. They enjoy making something special for mom. They enjoy giving gifts but find it difficult to wait until Mother’s Day to have the gifts opened. They are just not patient people.

My son attends daycare a couple of days a week and at daycare he made a gift for me.  He proudly presented the gift and said, “Happy Mother’s Day!” When we got home he asked, “When you open your gift, will you share it with me?” I told him we’d talk about it once I opened the gift. Now, this was on Thursday and he would have to wait a few days and that was just too long so he asked, “Do you want to open it now or on Mother’s Day?” I told him I would like to wait until Mother’s Day and he asked, “But would you like to open it now?”

Whether you’re a parent or not you know he was not really trying to get to my wishes, so of course I agreed to open my gift early. He had given me a jar of walnuts that were specially seasoned just for Mom. Now, however, he realized that he didn’t have something for me to open on Mother’s Day.

On Friday he went to his grandma’s house and asked to make a pretty bracelet for me.  He asked me what color beads I liked and told me not to look. Later that night he gave me a small wrapped box and told me to open it. I asked if I should wait for Mother’s Day and he said, “No, you have to open it now.” After I opened it, my husband saw and said, “You were supposed to save that for Sunday.” Here we go again.

Saturday morning my son came to me with a dollar bill and a dollar coin and said, “Happy Mother’s Day! Which one do you want?” When I asked why he was giving me money he said, “Because I like giving people money to be Mom and Dad.” Great, not only is he proudly paying me less than minimum wage but he makes it sound like my husband and I can easily be replaced. I think I need to check his piggy bank and see how long we’ll be around.

Mother’s Day finally arrived and my son comes into my room, says, “Happy Mother’s Day” in a way that shows no enthusiasm for the day in the slightest. Apparently he had moved on to other things.

 I’ve noticed over the years that boys seem to need more reminders about washing their hands after using the bathroom than girls do. That’s not to say that girls don’t need reminders, it’s just that boys need more, lots more.

Today I saw my son run from the bathroom into his bedroom while tugging at his pants. I asked if he had gone potty and he said, “Oh!” and turned, ran back to the bathroom, flushed the toilet and ran back to his room. I said, “Did you wash your hands?” He then ran back to the bathroom turned the water on and back off and ran back to his room. As he was running by I asked “With soap?” He grunted and ran back to the bathroom. This time he thought he would be smart so he came out to me to show that he had washed his hands with soap. He held his hands out to me and said “Smell!” Now, this may seem like an odd request but we use scented soap so the proof is in the smell of your hands.  But my son once again forgot a step. Yes, he had rinsed his hands. Yes, he had put soap on his hands, but, no, he had not rinsed the soap off. So I sent him back to the bathroom to wash again.

 This time I heard him rinsing his hands in the water. He then turned off the water and once again ran to his room. This time I asked,

“Did you dry your hands?”

”Yes.”

“With a towel?”

“A towel?” (There was a real pause here.) “Yeah, of course. What else would I do?”

Now there’s a question worth pondering.

 When I started this blog I decided to use pet names for my kids instead of their real names. At the time, my sister talked me into using Buddy and Sugar and for some silly reason I listened.

The other day my sister and I were talking about the blog when she said “I hate those names” Excuse me? I reminded her that she talked me into using them in the first place and she said, “I know but it sounds like you’re talking about two dogs instead of two kids.” That’s just terrific.

So now I am changing their names, not because I always do what my sister says but because she’s right.

I’ve been trying to think of different names but all that comes to mind is “rugrat” and “pain-in-the-butt”, Yes, they’ve been testing me this week. So I thought I would open this to our readers. Would you like me to call them “The Boy” and “The Girl” or do you have a suggestion?

Let’s get creative here, but keep it nice. These are my kids after all!

Kids are terrific for showing you your shortcomings. They watch everything you do and mimic it whether you want them to or not.

My husband learned a bit about himself the other day. He was trying to clip Buddy’s toe nails but Buddy just couldn’t keep still. My husband said, “Stop squirming or I’ll clip your toe off!” Buddy asked, “Will it hurt like hell?”

Sadly, I’ve had to learn the hard way too. One time when Sugar was in kindergarten her teacher pulled me aside and said with a grin, “I hear that you say the ‘S’ word a lot.” I laughed and said, “I’m afraid I do, but do you know what the ‘S’ word is?” She said she had a pretty good guess but I told her that she would be guessing wrong. The “S” word to Sugar was, and still is, another word for “dumb.” For those of you still wondering, I can’t say it without getting in trouble so I’ll spell it, S-T-U-P-I-D. Of course her teacher laughed at the explanation but I had been ratted out by my own child! I can’t complain though, sometimes I do have a potty mouth and she could have told on me for some other word.

My husband and I are learning and I’m sure we’ll make mistakes but you can rest assured, the kids will be sure to remind us of what we’re doing wrong.

My daughter has a loose tooth. This isn’t the first loose tooth she’s had but the process hasn’t gotten easier.

The first two teeth became loose, she wiggled them and eventually they fell out. The next two loosened, she wiggled them, the new teeth grew in behind them and the darned baby teeth tightened back up. Both of the stubborn teeth had to eventually be pulled by her dentist and what an ordeal that was. Now, most children would resist the dentist pulling a tooth, but “Sugar” fights with everything she’s got. She works herself up into a frenzy and is sure the dentist is going to do something horrible to her. Before you get the impression that Sugar is overly sensitive or that we coddle her or anything like that you should know that she’s one tough cookie and those who know her are surprised at her fear of dentists. On a side note, for a post regarding teeth and dentistry I sure seem to use a lot of sugary references, don’t I?

So last week Sugar noticed that she had another loose tooth and started wiggling that thing like crazy to avoid the dentist. She asked her dad to help her pull it but then shied away when his hands got close to her mouth. The other problem here is she has tiny teeth and a small mouth and his hands are fairly large so he wasn’t quite sure how this was going to work anyway.

Last night the loose tooth finally got to be a bit too much for her. She got out of bed to once again have Dad try to pull it. (Looking back, it was probably partly a stall tactic too.) Again, she was scared. Finally my husband said, “Just pull it out. What’s the worst that could happen?” (We really need to stop asking our kids that question!) She replied, “I could swallow it, choke and DIE.” Needless to say, the tooth is still hanging in there.

Names are a tricky thing when you have kids. I’m not talking about choosing names. No, I’m talking about remembering the names you’ve already chosen - especially when you have more than one child.My mom chose to combine the first two letters of my sister’s name with mine and vice versa, so my name was, and still is, Sh-Tam. It makes me sound like a superhero. Look!  It’s Sh-Tam! The woman who can multi-task at the speed of light!

My grandfather chose to run through the whole list of grandchildren in birth order, regardless of gender. I have 11 cousins and I’m at the younger end so it took awhile for grandpa to remember who I was.

My method is similar to my grandfather’s but with a slight twist. Since I only have two kids I shouldn’t have a problem, but to get to my daughter’s name I find myself first saying my nephew’s name (notice the difference in gender) then our dog’s name (the dog has been dead for almost ten years now) and finally Sugar’s name. 

For some reason, when Buddy came along I didn’t just lengthen the list, I changed it altogether. For Buddy I say my husband’s name, then Sugar and then I add “Whoever you are.” Now, I say this with a smile so he knows I’m kidding, but apparently my husband does the same thing. So now my son walks into a room and says, “Dad - Mom - whoever you are.”

I wonder what he’ll call his kids.