Musings of a Mom

Jack will turn five years old soon and so I’ve been trying to plan a celebration. When Jill turned five we had a party and I always assumed we would for Jack as well but now that the time has come, we are reconsidering. Don’t worry, we’ll still celebrate, its just that Jack’s current friends are much younger than he is and don’t have the same interests so a party just doesn’t seem appropriate.

I asked him recently if he wanted to have the family go bowling which he got really excited about and then he added that he wanted the whole family (including grandparents and his aunt and cousin) to go to the Lego store so everyone can buy one Lego brick for him. Hmmm, I’m sure he means one Lego set but I’ll easily agree to one Lego brick!

Of course as I was starting to make plans for this Lego/bowling fiesta my nephew decided to turn 17. Yes, decided. If you’ve ever been around teenagers you’ll understand that there have been a few days that I thought his mom wouldn’t let him make it to 17, and he’s a good kid generally. So he turned 17 and had his annual campout party which Jack decided to crash at the last minute. (The 17-year old actually wanted Jack there, but Jack likes the idea of having crashed the party.) Then everything changed.

Jack has now decided that he too wants a campout but only after going to the extremely important Lego Store. Jack has also decided that he wants to invite his cousin’s friends to his campout. Oh yeah, he thinks the friends should go to the Lego store to buy him a brick too.

So picture this, invitations sent to a few 16 and 17-year-old boys saying “I’m turning 5! Come buy a Lego brick for me and camp out too!” Sounds like quite a celebration to me.

Jack went out with my sister and nephew the other day to go toy shopping.  On the way to the store Jack announced, “Girl mosquitoes are blood suckers!”  My sister has not studied mosquitoes so she didn’t know this information is true.  She said, “All mosquitoes suck your blood.”  To which Jack replied, “No, only girls are blood suckers!” 

Now, my sister claims that Jack told her that he learned this little tidbit from his dad and, of course, my sister quickly brought it to my attention:  “Do you know what your husband is teaching your child?”  The irony in this situation is: 1) Hubby is very pro-women and does not adopt the “women are blood suckers” feeling, 2) The statement is true regarding mosquitoes and 3) Jack actually learned it at daycare from a woman. 

So here’s the moral of the story:

Dads - watch what your kids say, it could accidentally get you in some hot water. 

Moms - know about mosquitoes, bugs and other creepy crawlies and more importantly, don’t jump to conclusions. 

I knew about the little blood suckers so Hubby was never in trouble, but he did have a great laugh about the fact that my sister took the statement as a jibe and not a fact relayed by an innocent child.

Jill has always been interested in learning how to read, write, do math, et cetera.  She was easy to prepare for kindergarten.  She was hungry for information and we were happy to provide her with tools to feed that hunger.

Jack is a completely different child.  He’s a smart kid but he has a completely different learning style.  He is very hands on and does not want to sit down to learn to read or write.  He wants to build, explore and be active.

You would think that knowing how he learns would make the process simple but it doesn’t.  The way I learn best is a mix of Jack’s and Jill’s styles with a little more emphasis on Jill’s side.  Since I am the one who works most with Jack it is up to me to find ways to teach him.  I have tried games, songs, videos, and various other ways to gain his interest but they only work for a few minutes.  I know a few minutes are better than none, but still…  He doesn’t have A.D.D. because he can sit for hours playing with Legos or Bionicles.

I don’t worry about it too much and, for the most part, I figure he’ll be fine, but it’s a bit difficult for me to shift gears between the two learning styles. I could take Jill to the library and she’d be happy for hours.  Jack would be much happier in a hardware store. 

Yesterday Hubby and I took the kids on a tour of a submarine.  When my sister asked Jack about it he was really excited.  She asked, “Could you see the water through the windows?”  Jack looked puzzled for a bit and said, “There are no windows on a submarine.”  My sister said, “Well, what did you see in the submarine?”  Jack said, “Lots and lots of mechanical stuff!  It was COOL!!!”  Jill enjoyed the tour too but she just kept commenting on the fact that the submarine had a lot of doors to go through.

So I’ll keep trying to find ways to teach Jack to write the alphabet, but if anyone has suggestions, I’d love to hear them. 

By the way, I’ll be trying to teach him how to tie his shoes soon.  Any suggestions?

 Kids are smart. As a parent I have to try to stay one step ahead of my kids which is not easy even when they’re young.

I remember as a kid trying to talk my parents into things but I don’t remember using their words against them or purposely trying to manipulate them. Now if you ask them they probably have a different view but this is my blog and I think I was pretty angelic. My parents can start their own blog if they so choose, But I’m getting sidetracked here, so I’ll get back to the point.

My children are manipulative! They think they are smart but I’ve caught them. I’ve heard them manipulating their grandparents by saying things like “But I’m your favorite granddaughter.”  (Jill’s their only granddaughter.)  But manipulating their parents? That’s awful!

We were taking Jill out for a special evening because she had passed a big test. Yes, this is summer.  No, it didn’t have anything to do with school, but it is something she had been working on for more than a year and so we were celebrating. We let her pick her favorite restaurant (and let me tell you Jill has expensive taste.) and we got dressed up to go. Jill has grown over the summer so it was difficult to figure out what to wear as she’s outgrown her shoes. The outfit she chose was black and the dress shoes that fit were either brown or white. She wanted to wear the brown and I told her to wear the white (trust me on this - if you really need to know why leave a comment and I’ll reply). In our arguing, I said that the brown didn’t make sense with the black, A few minutes later she came out of her room with the white shoes on and said “Mom, the white shoes just don’t make sense with the black outfit.” Then she looked at what I was wearing and said, “Is that top purple? I just don’t think it makes sense with black pants.”

Today it was Jack’s turn. He knew he was in trouble for having toys spread throughout the house but still he came trying to get me to buy more. He approached me in such an innocent way. “Mom,” he said, ”what’s the store with the name of a day in it?” I told him the name and then he said asked “Did you say you wanted to take me there?” Um, that would be a big N-O right now.

These kids may know how to work their grandparents but they’re going to have to work harder on dear old Mom and Dad. I have to admit though that there is a part of me that thinks, “Hey, that was pretty smart” when they do try. So please wish me luck in not falling for their traps, I think I’m going to need all the help I can get.

 Young children are constantly learning. They learn through play, through observation and through listening. I love catching those little moments when a child discovers something new and tries it for himself. I especially love when kids hear new words and then try to use the word in conversation. Sometimes the attempts are successful and sometimes they are not but at least the child is trying.

Last night Hubby took Jack to swim lessons and when they got back I asked how the lesson went. Jack said, “It was horrible! I accidentally swallowed some water and it went down into my ecosystem!”

Jack’s comment reminded me of a time when Jill was little and we were celebrating Easter with her grandparents. Jack and Jill both said “Happy Easter” and Jill proudly added “and Happy Pass Away!”

Hey, she was trying.

When my sister and I were kids we fought like cats and dogs.  Our mom would say, “You should be nice to each other. One of these days you’ll be best friends.” And we would answer back that there was NO way we would ever be friends. Now we’re adults and if you’ve been reading my blog then you know that Mom was right. 

Jack and Jill are still young enough to enjoy playing together. Don’t get me wrong, they fight with each other too. But they’re still at an age where there’s more time spent playing than fighting. Plus it helps that Jack thinks Jill walks on water.

Since Jack was just a little guy (because he’s such a big guy now) he’s loved to copy whatever Jill does. He has his own interests but he also likes to do the things she loves. He’s played her games, tried the same sports and watches the same movies. 

Jill is used to having a following though. When she was still in daycare she was the only girl among a group of younger boys. These boys too thought she was someone to idolize. I still hear stories from the other parents of how their boys wanted to be princesses because Jill thought she was a princess. She did tell them that they had to be princes, but that was just not enough. They wanted to be just like her.

One day Jack had a growth spurt and his shoes suddenly didn’t fit. Out of desperation, we pulled out a pair of Jill’s old tennis shoes for him to wear to daycare. He told the boys who the shoes’ previous owner was and the boys spent the day telling Jack how lucky he was. From what I hear, they also spent a lot of time that day staring at Jack’s feet.

Now Jack is a bit older but he still admires his big sister. So this weekend I took him to get a new pair of swim goggles and instead of choosing a pair in his favorite color, he opted for a pair just like Jill’s. He was so happy and when he showed her the goggles he proudly said, “Now we can be goggle twins!” Jill, however, was a bit miffed. She is now at an age where she wants her own identity and is struggling to see that imitation is the sincerest form of flattery. I must say though, she’s not completely put off when he copies her. She chalks it up to his being little and figures he’ll grow out of it, which, of course, he will. That is the point when the fighting will occur on a more regular basis and I will start telling them that they should be nice to each other because hopefully when they grow up they’ll be best friends too.

 I’ve decided to call the kids Jack and Jill. There’s no big reason other than those are the names that suit my kids for purposes of this blog.

Jill wants an Ipod. She’s been trying to talk me into getting a new one for myself and giving her my current one so that she can have my music loaded already but she hasn’t yet convinced me. 

She approached me the other night with an idea. “Can we sell Jack for medical experiments and use the money to buy an Ipod?” Now, if you haven’t guessed already, our family’s sense of humor is a bit flippant, so I replied, “Well, he would be worth more than you.” To which she said, “Yeah, he’s so small and cute!” Now that’s a loving sister for you.

 Kids get excited about Mother’s Day, at least they do when they’re young. They enjoy making something special for mom. They enjoy giving gifts but find it difficult to wait until Mother’s Day to have the gifts opened. They are just not patient people.

My son attends daycare a couple of days a week and at daycare he made a gift for me.  He proudly presented the gift and said, “Happy Mother’s Day!” When we got home he asked, “When you open your gift, will you share it with me?” I told him we’d talk about it once I opened the gift. Now, this was on Thursday and he would have to wait a few days and that was just too long so he asked, “Do you want to open it now or on Mother’s Day?” I told him I would like to wait until Mother’s Day and he asked, “But would you like to open it now?”

Whether you’re a parent or not you know he was not really trying to get to my wishes, so of course I agreed to open my gift early. He had given me a jar of walnuts that were specially seasoned just for Mom. Now, however, he realized that he didn’t have something for me to open on Mother’s Day.

On Friday he went to his grandma’s house and asked to make a pretty bracelet for me.  He asked me what color beads I liked and told me not to look. Later that night he gave me a small wrapped box and told me to open it. I asked if I should wait for Mother’s Day and he said, “No, you have to open it now.” After I opened it, my husband saw and said, “You were supposed to save that for Sunday.” Here we go again.

Saturday morning my son came to me with a dollar bill and a dollar coin and said, “Happy Mother’s Day! Which one do you want?” When I asked why he was giving me money he said, “Because I like giving people money to be Mom and Dad.” Great, not only is he proudly paying me less than minimum wage but he makes it sound like my husband and I can easily be replaced. I think I need to check his piggy bank and see how long we’ll be around.

Mother’s Day finally arrived and my son comes into my room, says, “Happy Mother’s Day” in a way that shows no enthusiasm for the day in the slightest. Apparently he had moved on to other things.

 I’ve noticed over the years that boys seem to need more reminders about washing their hands after using the bathroom than girls do. That’s not to say that girls don’t need reminders, it’s just that boys need more, lots more.

Today I saw my son run from the bathroom into his bedroom while tugging at his pants. I asked if he had gone potty and he said, “Oh!” and turned, ran back to the bathroom, flushed the toilet and ran back to his room. I said, “Did you wash your hands?” He then ran back to the bathroom turned the water on and back off and ran back to his room. As he was running by I asked “With soap?” He grunted and ran back to the bathroom. This time he thought he would be smart so he came out to me to show that he had washed his hands with soap. He held his hands out to me and said “Smell!” Now, this may seem like an odd request but we use scented soap so the proof is in the smell of your hands.  But my son once again forgot a step. Yes, he had rinsed his hands. Yes, he had put soap on his hands, but, no, he had not rinsed the soap off. So I sent him back to the bathroom to wash again.

 This time I heard him rinsing his hands in the water. He then turned off the water and once again ran to his room. This time I asked,

“Did you dry your hands?”

”Yes.”

“With a towel?”

“A towel?” (There was a real pause here.) “Yeah, of course. What else would I do?”

Now there’s a question worth pondering.

 When I started this blog I decided to use pet names for my kids instead of their real names. At the time, my sister talked me into using Buddy and Sugar and for some silly reason I listened.

The other day my sister and I were talking about the blog when she said “I hate those names” Excuse me? I reminded her that she talked me into using them in the first place and she said, “I know but it sounds like you’re talking about two dogs instead of two kids.” That’s just terrific.

So now I am changing their names, not because I always do what my sister says but because she’s right.

I’ve been trying to think of different names but all that comes to mind is “rugrat” and “pain-in-the-butt”, Yes, they’ve been testing me this week. So I thought I would open this to our readers. Would you like me to call them “The Boy” and “The Girl” or do you have a suggestion?

Let’s get creative here, but keep it nice. These are my kids after all!