Musings of a Mom

When faced with leaving the house, kids MUST bring something.  They like to have something to amuse them or comfort them or show off and it doesn’t matter whether you’re going one mile or one hundred, they just can’t leave with empty hands. 

No matter how much warning we give Jack that we are leaving, there is almost always a frantic search for what to bring.  He may already have packed something to take but he just wants to make sure he has the right thing even though “the right thing” is whatever catches his eye at the last moment.

Yesterday we were taking Jack and Jill to grandma’s house for a bit.  Grandma lives one mile from us and has lots of toys, but still the packing and search had to happen.  Jack decided to bring two of his stuffed animals but couldn’t find one at the last minute.  Hubby was trying to get us all out of the house and said, “Don’t worry about it.  Find something else.”  Jack ran off and came back with his pillow.  Hubby didn’t realize what was happening and asked me if the kids were spending the night and why Jack had his pillow.  I said, “I guess it’s his pet pillow.”  Jack had clearly been worried before I made the comment as he thought his dad was going to make him leave the house empty handed.  The idea of a pet pillow was amazing to Jack.  He grinned and announced, “I have to show grandma my pet pillow.  He’s my new friend!”

Now, however, Jack has taken to carrying this pillow with him, had to have the pillow nearby when he was bathing and even tried to put a pair of underwear on the pillow.  Apparently the two have bonded and I’m sure I’ll be inviting Pillow to join us for dinner soon.

Jack will turn five years old soon and so I’ve been trying to plan a celebration. When Jill turned five we had a party and I always assumed we would for Jack as well but now that the time has come, we are reconsidering. Don’t worry, we’ll still celebrate, its just that Jack’s current friends are much younger than he is and don’t have the same interests so a party just doesn’t seem appropriate.

I asked him recently if he wanted to have the family go bowling which he got really excited about and then he added that he wanted the whole family (including grandparents and his aunt and cousin) to go to the Lego store so everyone can buy one Lego brick for him. Hmmm, I’m sure he means one Lego set but I’ll easily agree to one Lego brick!

Of course as I was starting to make plans for this Lego/bowling fiesta my nephew decided to turn 17. Yes, decided. If you’ve ever been around teenagers you’ll understand that there have been a few days that I thought his mom wouldn’t let him make it to 17, and he’s a good kid generally. So he turned 17 and had his annual campout party which Jack decided to crash at the last minute. (The 17-year old actually wanted Jack there, but Jack likes the idea of having crashed the party.) Then everything changed.

Jack has now decided that he too wants a campout but only after going to the extremely important Lego Store. Jack has also decided that he wants to invite his cousin’s friends to his campout. Oh yeah, he thinks the friends should go to the Lego store to buy him a brick too.

So picture this, invitations sent to a few 16 and 17-year-old boys saying “I’m turning 5! Come buy a Lego brick for me and camp out too!” Sounds like quite a celebration to me.

Jack went out with my sister and nephew the other day to go toy shopping.  On the way to the store Jack announced, “Girl mosquitoes are blood suckers!”  My sister has not studied mosquitoes so she didn’t know this information is true.  She said, “All mosquitoes suck your blood.”  To which Jack replied, “No, only girls are blood suckers!” 

Now, my sister claims that Jack told her that he learned this little tidbit from his dad and, of course, my sister quickly brought it to my attention:  “Do you know what your husband is teaching your child?”  The irony in this situation is: 1) Hubby is very pro-women and does not adopt the “women are blood suckers” feeling, 2) The statement is true regarding mosquitoes and 3) Jack actually learned it at daycare from a woman. 

So here’s the moral of the story:

Dads - watch what your kids say, it could accidentally get you in some hot water. 

Moms - know about mosquitoes, bugs and other creepy crawlies and more importantly, don’t jump to conclusions. 

I knew about the little blood suckers so Hubby was never in trouble, but he did have a great laugh about the fact that my sister took the statement as a jibe and not a fact relayed by an innocent child.

Jill has always been interested in learning how to read, write, do math, et cetera.  She was easy to prepare for kindergarten.  She was hungry for information and we were happy to provide her with tools to feed that hunger.

Jack is a completely different child.  He’s a smart kid but he has a completely different learning style.  He is very hands on and does not want to sit down to learn to read or write.  He wants to build, explore and be active.

You would think that knowing how he learns would make the process simple but it doesn’t.  The way I learn best is a mix of Jack’s and Jill’s styles with a little more emphasis on Jill’s side.  Since I am the one who works most with Jack it is up to me to find ways to teach him.  I have tried games, songs, videos, and various other ways to gain his interest but they only work for a few minutes.  I know a few minutes are better than none, but still…  He doesn’t have A.D.D. because he can sit for hours playing with Legos or Bionicles.

I don’t worry about it too much and, for the most part, I figure he’ll be fine, but it’s a bit difficult for me to shift gears between the two learning styles. I could take Jill to the library and she’d be happy for hours.  Jack would be much happier in a hardware store. 

Yesterday Hubby and I took the kids on a tour of a submarine.  When my sister asked Jack about it he was really excited.  She asked, “Could you see the water through the windows?”  Jack looked puzzled for a bit and said, “There are no windows on a submarine.”  My sister said, “Well, what did you see in the submarine?”  Jack said, “Lots and lots of mechanical stuff!  It was COOL!!!”  Jill enjoyed the tour too but she just kept commenting on the fact that the submarine had a lot of doors to go through.

So I’ll keep trying to find ways to teach Jack to write the alphabet, but if anyone has suggestions, I’d love to hear them. 

By the way, I’ll be trying to teach him how to tie his shoes soon.  Any suggestions?

My kids are driving me bonkers!  It’s the halfway point of summer and they are bouncing off the walls.  This has been a busy summer with lots of activity and still they act like they have been caged up for months.

One thing I don’t have a problem with is my kids saying “I’m bored.”  My kids have always been pretty good about entertaining themselves and I find it interesting to hear my friends complain about their children claiming to be bored.  Last summer Jill overheard one of my friends talking about the issue and Jill decided to try the phrase out and see what happened.  She found out quickly that it was not a good idea.  Our conversation went something like this:

            Jill:  Mom, I’m bored.

            Me:  Really?  You can’t think of ANYTHING to do?

            Jill:  No.

            Me:  Do you want me to think of something for you?

            Jill:  Yes.

            Me:  Are you sure about that?

            Jill:  (Thinks for a moment first.) Yes.

            Me:  Well, you can dust, sweep, fold some clothes, clean the toilets –

            Jill:  Never mind.  I’ll think of something myself.

            Me:  I thought so.

This summer they haven’t said “I’m bored,” and they don’t seem to be other than they seem to be tired of each other.  It’s the typical sibling rivalry really.  They start out playing and get louder and something comes up and suddenly they are arguing.  The funny thing is everyone I’ve talked to this week has said the same thing: “My kids are driving me nuts!  I can’t wait for school to start!”

To everyone out there experiencing the same, may we all survive the rest of summer.

 Kids are smart. As a parent I have to try to stay one step ahead of my kids which is not easy even when they’re young.

I remember as a kid trying to talk my parents into things but I don’t remember using their words against them or purposely trying to manipulate them. Now if you ask them they probably have a different view but this is my blog and I think I was pretty angelic. My parents can start their own blog if they so choose, But I’m getting sidetracked here, so I’ll get back to the point.

My children are manipulative! They think they are smart but I’ve caught them. I’ve heard them manipulating their grandparents by saying things like “But I’m your favorite granddaughter.”  (Jill’s their only granddaughter.)  But manipulating their parents? That’s awful!

We were taking Jill out for a special evening because she had passed a big test. Yes, this is summer.  No, it didn’t have anything to do with school, but it is something she had been working on for more than a year and so we were celebrating. We let her pick her favorite restaurant (and let me tell you Jill has expensive taste.) and we got dressed up to go. Jill has grown over the summer so it was difficult to figure out what to wear as she’s outgrown her shoes. The outfit she chose was black and the dress shoes that fit were either brown or white. She wanted to wear the brown and I told her to wear the white (trust me on this - if you really need to know why leave a comment and I’ll reply). In our arguing, I said that the brown didn’t make sense with the black, A few minutes later she came out of her room with the white shoes on and said “Mom, the white shoes just don’t make sense with the black outfit.” Then she looked at what I was wearing and said, “Is that top purple? I just don’t think it makes sense with black pants.”

Today it was Jack’s turn. He knew he was in trouble for having toys spread throughout the house but still he came trying to get me to buy more. He approached me in such an innocent way. “Mom,” he said, ”what’s the store with the name of a day in it?” I told him the name and then he said asked “Did you say you wanted to take me there?” Um, that would be a big N-O right now.

These kids may know how to work their grandparents but they’re going to have to work harder on dear old Mom and Dad. I have to admit though that there is a part of me that thinks, “Hey, that was pretty smart” when they do try. So please wish me luck in not falling for their traps, I think I’m going to need all the help I can get.

 Young children are constantly learning. They learn through play, through observation and through listening. I love catching those little moments when a child discovers something new and tries it for himself. I especially love when kids hear new words and then try to use the word in conversation. Sometimes the attempts are successful and sometimes they are not but at least the child is trying.

Last night Hubby took Jack to swim lessons and when they got back I asked how the lesson went. Jack said, “It was horrible! I accidentally swallowed some water and it went down into my ecosystem!”

Jack’s comment reminded me of a time when Jill was little and we were celebrating Easter with her grandparents. Jack and Jill both said “Happy Easter” and Jill proudly added “and Happy Pass Away!”

Hey, she was trying.

When Jack and Jill were toddlers they loved to play with remote controls. Jill started playing with the TV remote one day and changed the settings. Hubby and I played around with the thing to try to reset it and we even resorted to reading the manual but we never could figure out how to change the settings back. Instead, we did the next logical thing - we adjusted ourselves to the new settings. We also got some non-functioning remotes and let her play with them.

At one point Jill showed interest in the computer keyboard and my mother-in-law supplied Jill with a cordless keyboard that she could play with. You may be thinking, why not steer her in another direction? We have learned two things about kids: 1) they are curious and if you take something away it becomes more fascinating (or sometimes they actually forget about it) and 2) if it won’t hurt them, find a way to let them have it so that they can explore and learn. Jill knew her alphabet by sight at age 2 ½ and she knew the placement on the keyboard by age 3.

So now they are older and still fascinated with gadgets. They also like to emulate the people around them and I was recently given a better understanding of what I do with my time.  I obviously spend more time on the phone than I thought. In my defense though, I work from home and my work sometimes requires me to be on the phone and then of course, there are the calls from my mom, my sister and friends. Well, yes, I use the phone but back to the kids…

My kids recently won a couple of calculators as prizes. Instead of using the calculators to add or subtract Jack and Jill opted to pretend they were cell phones. The kids would wander through the house talking to imaginary friends or to each other. They took their “phones” in the car and my husband and I would hear two separate conversations being conducted behind us. The kids even took their phones to swim lessons. The swim teacher asked if we had bought the kids I Phones! Once Jill noticed that her father was listening to her conversation she said, “Excuse me but there’s a little thing called privacy.”

Now I know I don’t say things like that and neither does my husband but it’s scary to see the glimpses of teen attitude quickly approaching. All I can say is that we’ll do our best to enjoy the kids’ childhood while bracing ourselves for the future and we’ll continue to watch what we say when we’re on the phone. It’s pretty sobering to hear your child say, “Oh, hold on while I get rid of this other call” and then pretend to use call-waiting.

When my sister and I were kids we fought like cats and dogs.  Our mom would say, “You should be nice to each other. One of these days you’ll be best friends.” And we would answer back that there was NO way we would ever be friends. Now we’re adults and if you’ve been reading my blog then you know that Mom was right. 

Jack and Jill are still young enough to enjoy playing together. Don’t get me wrong, they fight with each other too. But they’re still at an age where there’s more time spent playing than fighting. Plus it helps that Jack thinks Jill walks on water.

Since Jack was just a little guy (because he’s such a big guy now) he’s loved to copy whatever Jill does. He has his own interests but he also likes to do the things she loves. He’s played her games, tried the same sports and watches the same movies. 

Jill is used to having a following though. When she was still in daycare she was the only girl among a group of younger boys. These boys too thought she was someone to idolize. I still hear stories from the other parents of how their boys wanted to be princesses because Jill thought she was a princess. She did tell them that they had to be princes, but that was just not enough. They wanted to be just like her.

One day Jack had a growth spurt and his shoes suddenly didn’t fit. Out of desperation, we pulled out a pair of Jill’s old tennis shoes for him to wear to daycare. He told the boys who the shoes’ previous owner was and the boys spent the day telling Jack how lucky he was. From what I hear, they also spent a lot of time that day staring at Jack’s feet.

Now Jack is a bit older but he still admires his big sister. So this weekend I took him to get a new pair of swim goggles and instead of choosing a pair in his favorite color, he opted for a pair just like Jill’s. He was so happy and when he showed her the goggles he proudly said, “Now we can be goggle twins!” Jill, however, was a bit miffed. She is now at an age where she wants her own identity and is struggling to see that imitation is the sincerest form of flattery. I must say though, she’s not completely put off when he copies her. She chalks it up to his being little and figures he’ll grow out of it, which, of course, he will. That is the point when the fighting will occur on a more regular basis and I will start telling them that they should be nice to each other because hopefully when they grow up they’ll be best friends too.

When I was a kid my family used to go camping a lot. Many times they were spur-of-the-moment trips with things left behind (like the tent pole, some of the sleeping bags and various other items.) As time went by sleeping in tents evolved into sleeping in a trailer and now my parents opt to rough it by renting cabins.

Early on in our relationship my husband informed me that when he is on vacation he does not want to work, therefore we would stay in hotels versus camping because camping is work. I was quick to jump on board with that way of thinking. Ironically, many a vacation has been spent working on our house.

Last week my parents informed us that they were going camping and were taking Jill with them (they take her every year) and asked if Jack and Hubby and I would like to join them for the weekend. Hubby and I decided we would do this for the kids and so we packed up the van and off we went.

The campsite is a three-hour drive from our home and so every few minutes Jack asked, “Are we there yet?” or “When will we be there?” Jack still doesn’t have a good understanding of time so we had to explain in terms he could grasp, “We’ll be there in 12 Sponge Bobs.” “Six more Sponge Bobs to go!” We had plenty of things available to entertain him but he was anxious to get there. He was excited about fishing with grandpa for the first time.

As we approached the campgrounds, Jack started yelling, “Look at the nature! It’s nature!  Look!” On one side of the road was a lake and on the other side was a water treatment plant. Of course, while Jack was yelling about nature, he was looking at the trees surrounding the water treatment plant. When we explained that we were in the forest, he just said, “Really?” 

Jack was so excited about being in nature that the first thing he wanted to do was go swim in the pool. Yes, this campground has a pool so that you don’t swim in the lake, at least that’s my theory. He did eventually go in a row boat on the lake and then came back and threw up. He never did go fishing. He did, however, spend some time collecting rocks in the “hall” behind our cabin. 

The kids had a great time and want to go back. If Jack was that excited over this version of camping imagine what he’d be like sleeping in a tent in the middle of nowhere!